How to Handle Feedback in One-on-One Meetings

In my first year as a manager I alienated one of my reports by giving him too much feedback in a direct and pointed way. The feedback was "right" but delivered to bluntly and thus unwelcome. Just because you “can” give feedback doesn’t mean you should. The power of your feedback comes from the trust you build with your reports. Here is how you can build it: The most important thing to understand is that even if you have the institutional authority to deliver this feedback (your title), you need the relational authority before you can deliver it effectively. Read this line again please - doing so will help you avoid either giving pain or making problems for yourself (I did both). This means that your reports need to trust and respect you before they will listen to any feedback you give. You can build this trust and respect by: 0) Being Empathetic I was too blunt. I thought that only being right or wrong mattered, not how I said things or the judgment in my tone and words. I lacked Emotional Intelligence (EQ). How you say things matters, and this means not just the words you say but the real intent behind them. My intention in that early review was not truly focused on helping the person, but rather on scolding him into better behavior. I'm not surprised he reacted poorly to it. 1) Being Consistent Good managers are consistently giving feedback—both bad and good—to their reports. Make sure you are recognizing and acknowledging your employees’ strengths as much (or more) than you are pointing out their areas for improvement. This will make them feel comfortable with you pointing out room for improvement because they know you see them for more than their flaws. 2) Never surprise someone with a review. This is related to point 1. If you are consistently giving small pieces of feedback, a more serious piece of negative feedback should not blindside your employee. They should know that it is coming and understand what the issue is. 3) Deliver corrective feedback ASAP, and use clear examples. As soon as you see a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, address it using clear evidence. This gives the employee the chance to reflect on the behavior while it is still fresh in their minds, not months later when their review comes around. 4) Check in to confirm that you are being heard correctly Ask the employee if they understand the feedback you are giving and why you are giving it. 5) Be specific enough to drive change The more specific behaviors and examples you can use to support your feedback, the better your employee can understand that you aren’t speaking from a place of dislike or bias. This also gives them more concrete references to inform their behavior change. Readers—What other ways do you build a relationship before giving feedback? (Or, how have you messed this up?)

“Winging it” in performance reviews or employee check-in meetings will get you nowhere. I learned this lesson the hard way. In the early stages of Executive Presence, I would hold open-ended, monthly check-ins with each team member, thinking I was being flexible and giving them space to bring up anything they wanted to discuss. I wanted their constructive feedback on the company as much I wanted to offer my own on their performance. But over time, I realized these 1:1 review sessions were not as productive as I thought. People didn’t always know how to use that time effectively. That’s when I worked with my executive coach, Victoria (Tory) Wobber, CPCC, and she gave me a simple but powerful piece of advice: “Give more structure to the conversation in advance.” Instead of a free-for-all, I started framing the discussion with clear, intentional questions - ones that gave my team a chance to reflect before our meeting. These are the questions I started using: 1️⃣ How are you doing outside of work? Anything new? 2️⃣ How are we supporting our clients? Any suggestions for improvement? 3️⃣ How are we functioning as a team? Any feedback or ideas? 4️⃣ Anything else you’d like to discuss? This approach shifted the dynamic. People were able to come to the table with thoughtful responses, and the conversation became more meaningful. I could use my time better, and my team members felt more prepared and empowered to engage. If you're looking for additional tips on making your performance reviews or other 1:1 meetings more meaningful, check out a recent Forbes article combining advice from 20 Forbes Business Council members (see if you can spot me 👋): https://lnkd.in/gyCnHQeX Structured, intentional questions turn scattered check-ins into powerful conversations. Give your team the time and direction to prepare, reflect, and engage deeply.

The way you structure feedback can inspire change or defensiveness. This is my favorite recipe for feedback––and it's not the compliment sandwich. 🥪 Everyone talks about the importance of delivering feedback as soon as you see it. However, most managers get tongue-tied, even when they notice a pattern. Why? It's hard to bring up something in the right way, ESPECIALLY if it'll upset someone you care about and work with. It can feel easier to not bring it up at all. That's why this 4-step feedback format is a game-changer. Whether big or small, having a script keeps feedback clear and kind. Here's how it works: 🍽 Start with some table setting. It's helpful to know if your teammate is ready to receive feedback. You can say, "Are you in the head space to hear some feedback right now?" or "I have some thoughts on ways we can improve this process, are you open to hearing it?" 👀 Step 1: Action Noticed. Clearly state the action or behavior that you noticed. This could be a one-time behavior or a pattern. Calling this out can focus the conversation. For example, "I noticed that you've been coming to our team retros late." 📆 Step 2: Specific Situation. The best feedback is specific. Offering situations where this happened can ground the conversation beyond opinions. For example, "I’ve had to ping you for the last three retro meetings, usually after 10-15 min." ❤️🩹 Step 3: Impact of Behavior. This part explains the "why" behind you bringing this up. It helps show the impact of this behavior on processes or the rest of the team. "Our team really values your opinion and so we often delay our discussion for when you arrive." ⏯️ Step 4: Ask to Continue or Change Behavior. Finally, this request suggests next steps to take based on this feedback. You can also pose it as a question if you'd like to co-create a solution. For example, "What normally gets in the way for you? Would it be helpful to move this retro?" This format works great for praise and for constructive feedback. It's also a great habit that helps managers notice feedback they're sitting on or haven't actioned yet. Once a week, challenge yourself to format a piece of feedback! How do you format your feedback or praise? Let me know in the comments! #feedback #leadership #management #peopleops #hr #peopleexperience

No matter what position we hold, we all need to be open to constructive criticism. I know that's not easy, but I have found that these 3 things help: 1️⃣Breathe. It's common for us to hold our breath when we're receiving candid feedback. It's like we're bracing ourselves for bad news. But doing so actually makes us feel even more stressed since our body isn't getting enough oxygen. If we can be more conscious of our breathing and regulate that, it can help. 2️⃣Be careful about body language. We all know that our words don't say everything. Nodding shows we're actively listening. It’s best to avoid crossing your arms as that’s a clear sign you're not open to feedback. 3️⃣Take some time in responding. People are often quick to jump right in, and that usually comes off as defensive. Instead, we should think about what we're hearing and collect our thoughts. Have you ever provided constructive feedback to someone who responded exceptionally well? If so, please share!

From rising through the ranks in investment banking to coaching future leaders, I know feedback is the secret to success. In my 25+ years, I’ve seen how timely, well-asked feedback can unlock promotions, raises and career growth —don’t wait to ask. 1 - Ask for feedback in a timely manner - as soon after the event (eg presentation, meeting, research paper, sales pitch, etc.) as possible. ⭐ Avoid waiting too long to ask, as memories can fade over time. ⭐ Choose a time when the person can focus on your request - scheduling 1x1 time, go for a coffee, etc. - strive for an environment with few distractions. ⭐ Give the person a heads-up that you’ll be asking for their feedback, so they have time to prepare. 2 - Ask someone who you TRUST and will be honest and forthcoming ⭐ Be careful not to be tempted to ask people who you know will provide positive feedback. (Personally, I like to ask a pessimist/glass is half empty personality). 3 - Be CLEAR and SPECIFIC on what you want feedback on ⭐ EXAMPLE - Don't say "How Am I Doing?". Be more specific and say "Can you provide feedback on how I at the sales pitch with Client ABC" 4 - Ask for EXAMPLES ⭐ EXAMPLE - "When you say I sounded nervous during the pitch, what specifically did you observe? Was it my body language, the way I spoke, the pace of my speaking, etc.?" 5 - Be OPEN and receptive to the feedback and do not get defensive ⭐ If you are defensive, you can discourage the person giving you honest feedback (or any feedback at all) ⭐ Realize that PERCEPTION IS REALITY. If the person provided feedback that you do not agree with, realize it is their reality (and likely others as well). 6 - Put an ACTION PLAN in place to address the feedback. ⭐ Ask the person providing feedback for their views on steps you can take to improve. Be grateful and thank the person who provided you feedback and ask them if you can follow up with them in a few weeks time to see if they have seen improvement. I also like to encourage them to share TIMELY feedback with me whenever they notice something. P.S. Want help with your development needs ⭐⭐ I can help. DM me now or email me at craigbroder@emergingedgellp.com. ♻️♻️♻️PLEASE REPOST AND SHARE WITH YOUR NETWORK ♻️ ♻️♻️

As an EY Partner, I gave feedback to thousands. Master the art of feedback - skyrocket your leadership: Bad feedback creates confusion. Good feedback sparks growth. Use the CSS (Clear, Specific, Supportive) framework to make your feedback land without friction. No more awkward silences or sugarcoating disasters: 1. Give positive feedback that actually feels valuable. ❌ Don’t say: “Great job!” ✅ Instead say: “Hey [Name], I really liked how you [specific action]. It made a real impact on [outcome]. Keep doing this—it’s a game-changer.” Why it matters: → Reinforces what actually works 2 Address underperformance without demotivating. ❌ Don’t say: “You need to improve.” ✅ Instead say: “I appreciate your effort on [project]. One area to refine is [specific issue]. A great way to improve would be [solution or resource]. Let’s check in next [timeframe] to see how it’s going.” Why it works: → Pinpoints the issue without personal criticism 3. Redirect someone without crushing their confidence. ❌ Don’t say: “This isn’t what I wanted.” ✅ Instead say: “I see where you were going with [work]. One way to make it even stronger is [specific suggestion]. What do you think about this approach?” Why it works: → Keeps feedback constructive, not critical 4. Push back on an idea (without sounding like a jerk). ❌ Don’t say: “I don’t think this will work.” ✅ Instead say: “I see the thinking behind [idea]. One challenge I foresee is [issue]. Have you considered [alternative approach]? Let’s explore what works best.” Why it works: → Keeps it a discussion, not a shutdown 5. Handle conflict without escalating it. ❌ Don’t say: “You’re wrong.” ✅ Instead say: “I see it differently—here’s why. Can we walk through both perspectives and find common ground?” Why it works: → Creates space for solutions, not arguments 6. Help someone level up their leadership. ❌ Don’t say: “You need to be more of a leader.” ✅ Instead say: “I see a lot of leadership potential in you. One way to step up is by [specific behavior]. I’d love to support you in growing here—what do you think?” Why it works: → Focuses on potential, not deficits 7. Coach someone who is struggling. ❌ Don’t say: “You need to step up.” ✅ Instead say: “I’ve noticed [specific challenge]. What’s getting in the way? Let’s find a way to make this easier for you.” Why it works: → Focuses on support, not blame 8. Give feedback to a peer without sounding like a boss. ❌ Don’t say: “You should have done it this way.” ✅ Instead say: “I had a thought—what if we tried [alternative]? I think it could help with [goal]. What do you think?” Why it works: → Encourages shared ownership of improvement 9. Close feedback on a high note. ❌ Don’t say: “Just fix it.” ✅ Instead say: “I appreciate the work you put in. With these adjustments, I know it’ll be even better. Looking forward to seeing how it evolves!” Why it works: → Ends on a motivating note — ♻️ Repost it to help others grow.

I regularly work with leadership teams to help them be more effective with their team dynamics and/or culture. One topic that comes up frequently? Nearly every team I work with wants to be great at giving and receiving feedback. Here’s what I notice about teams that have great feedback cultures: When something goes wrong, they don’t have side conversations. Many times, we get in the habit of venting to one of our peers about something challenging going on within the team. Why is this harmful to team dynamics? When we don’t openly talk about challenges with the whole team, it creates invisible barriers for others on the team. If we don’t tell someone we’re frustrated about something, we don’t give them the opportunity to make a needed change. We vent to a peer, feel slightly better, then let it go. We don’t share it, so nothing changes. Inevitably, the pattern returns and we get frustrated again. We go back to venting. We seemingly let it go. But it builds our frustrations and deteriorates trust. Rinse and repeat this vicious cycle. Now that trust is low, we have a hard time opening any feedback. We build walls and the team starts to operate with less efficiency, transparency, and information. So how do we break this cycle? The healthiest and most effective teams have built-in places for open feedback. They regularly talk about challenges. They know that talking about challenges, even when it’s hard, builds trust in the long run instead of breaking it. Instead of going to people within the team to vent, they openly talk about the challenges with the whole team. They hold each other accountable to not having side conversations or meetings-after-the-meeting. Here are three ways to build in regular, safe spaces for feedback into your team operations: 1️⃣ Build in questions to your 1-on-1s to ask things like: “What is one thing I could be doing differently to support you right now?” 2️⃣ Put retro conversations into your team meetings. Regularly ask the team - “What should we be starting, stopping, or continuing right now?” (Google retroactive meeting templates to get more ideas on questions you can ask!) 3️⃣ Instead of focusing on how to GIVE feedback to people as a leader, focus on how you RECEIVE feedback. Do a leadership skill gap analysis. Write down: When someone shares something challenging with you, how do you currently react to feedback? Then write down: How do you want to react when someone gives you feedback? Where’s the gap and what’s one step you could take toward closing that gap? What do you think? What do you think the best teams do to create great feedback cultures?

You just secured your big promotion but you still have questions about how to improve. Do you ask for feedback, or does senior leadership expect you to know everything already? As you climb the corporate ladder, seeking and incorporating feedback becomes crucial. But for many rising stars, the prospect of asking for input from senior leaders can be daunting. How do you approach these conversations without seeming too junior or insecure? When is the right time to ask? And what's the best way to ensure you receive actionable insights? 🤔 Take my client's case, a newly promoted GM-level leader at a large real estate development company. With a growing team of 200+ under his purview and ambitious goals to win market share in major cities, my client knew he needed guidance to succeed in his new role. After presenting a detailed strategy deck to his boss about a brand new product line, he wondered: Did I do well? Should I ask for feedback? How can I get the most out of this opportunity to learn and grow? You're not alone if you've ever found yourself in a similar situation. Seeking feedback from senior leaders is a delicate dance that can pay off big time in terms of your professional development. Here are some key insights to keep in mind: (1) 🆕 Consider the newness of your relationship. If you're just starting to work with a senior leader, it's okay to ask for feedback more as you establish a rapport and align on expectations. As the relationship matures, you can adjust the cadence. (2) 📝 Be specific in your request. Rather than asking for general feedback, come prepared with targeted questions or areas where you'd like input. For example, you might ask how well you responded to questions during a presentation or if your strategic recommendations were on point. (3) ⏰ Timing is everything. While seeking feedback promptly is essential, be mindful of your leader's schedule and workload. If your next 1:1 is coming up soon, that may be the perfect opportunity to discuss. If it's further out, consider sending a concise email or Slack message to set the stage. (4) 🗣️ Choose the right format. Some feedback conversations are best had live, where you can read body language and ask follow-up questions. Others can be handled via written communication. Consider your leader's preferences and the complexity of the topic when deciding how to approach the discussion. (5) 🎯 Aim for actionable insights. When seeking feedback, make it clear that you're looking for specific, constructive input that you can use to improve. Be open to criticism and willing to implement suggestions, demonstrating your commitment to growth. Remember, seeking feedback is a sign of strength, not weakness. By soliciting input from senior leaders, you show that you're invested in your development and value their expertise. So go forth and ask - your future self will thank you! #leadership #managingup #techjobs #careeradvice

One of the most popular questions I’m asked about receiving feedback…⁣ ⁣ What if I don’t agree with the feedback? ⁣ ⁣ Receiving feedback doesn’t mean you have to agree with the feedback itself or even implement it.⁣ ⁣ And still, if you want to encourage this person to come back to you and feel safe in the future doing so, how you respond really matters. If you dismiss the feedback or get defensive, you are teaching this person NOT to come to you in the future—and it’s really hard to build a culture of open feedback when that’s the case. ⁣ ⁣ Instead of looking at the feedback itself, thank this person for the decision to come to you instead of withholding it from you. ⁣ ⁣ Here are some examples of responses that can build trust in a situation when you disagree:⁣ ⁣ - Thank you so much for choosing to be honest with me about how you feel. I don’t see it the same way as you and I really appreciate that we have a relationship where we can be candid with each other and disagree at times. ⁣ ⁣ - Thank you for sharing your viewpoint with me. I hadn’t considered it from your perspective and it’s valuable to learn how you see it. ⁣I'm going to ask a few others about their perspective to learn if they see it the same way as you do. Maybe there is something I am not aware of here. I am really appreciative that you brought this up. ⁣ - Thank you for making the decision to have this conversation with me instead of keeping how you feel to yourself or sharing with someone other than me. I really value that we can give each other feedback even when it’s hard to hear.⁣ ⁣ In no way did I say I agreed with the feedback. We don’t have to agree all the time—that isn’t human! But no matter what, we can still create a dynamic where we help people feel safe and encourage them to come to us in the future.⁣ ⁣ What have you learned about receiving feedback that you disagree with? Tell me everything in the comments! 🧡⁣

Feedback isn’t a formality. It’s a tool. 𝗕𝗨𝗧 only if you know how to use it. I’ve seen too many leaders treat feedback sessions as a box to check, missing valuable opportunities for real insights. Vague questions stall growth, while the right questions demonstrate accountability. Why Vague Questions Fail: - “How am I doing?” leads to surface-level feedback. - Lack of clarity wastes time and stalls progress. 5 Steps to Get Actionable Feedback in 1:1s: 1️⃣ Focus on One Key Area at a Time ↳ Specific focus yields sharper, useful insights. ↳ Prioritize one topic to drive meaningful growth. 2️⃣ Ask for Concrete Examples ↳ Real examples make feedback actionable. ↳ Details pinpoint where adjustments are needed. 3️⃣ Take Notes and Act ↳ Documented feedback shows commitment. ↳ Acting on it builds trust and accountability. 4️⃣ Align Feedback with Team Challenges ↳ Discuss how team dynamics influence results. ↳ Insights expose areas needing immediate action. 5️⃣ Review Strategic Priorities Together ↳ Ensure goals align with company objectives. ↳ Focus on what truly drives impactful decisions. The Key Takeaway: Don’t be defensive - feedback is a tool, not a critique. A manager offering feedback is doing their job. The right questions turn feedback into a powerful leadership advantage. #BuildingLeaders #Manufacturing 👉 What’s a practical question leaders can ask in 1:1s? Tell me below!